We’ve all have experienced physical and emotional pain at some point in our lives. It’s completely human to feel frustrated because of that pain. The difference is that some people hold on to those hurtful experiences and find it harder to move on with their lives than others. It’s natural to get stuck and relive your experience, but at some point, you need to stop thinking about the things that could or should have been and focus on the present. It’s time to learn how to let things go
In the long run, if you hold to that pain, you could hurt yourself even more. It’s vital to learn how to deal with that pain, put that individual situation in the past, and heal yourself by keeping only the things that’ll help you grow and move forward. This may sound easy, but you and I know that letting go can be one of the hardest things to do.
It’s time to stop going back and reliving our pain. Time to heal and free our minds from negative thoughts and emotions that hold us back from a happy and full life. So, keep on reading, and you’ll find tips on how to let things go. They’ll help you stop struggling with past emotions and leave behind all the previous bad experiences that hunt you.
8 ways to start letting things go
1. Put your pain into words
When you find yourself dealing with pain and frustration, don’t repress your emotions. Allow yourself to feel your negative emotions in the same way you do with the positive ones. It’s part of human nature to feel down at times and go through a grief process, but it isn’t healthy to let those feelings take over you and build new emotions.
Untrap your feelings and express the things that make you hurt in whatever way you want. Find your voice and let your words be heard. Talk out to your friends, write down your thoughts, say them out loud, even if nobody is hearing, scream, cry, and do whatever you need to free yourself from the pain. This will help you understand how you really feel about the situation and why it hurts you so that you can accept it and put it in the past.
2. Make the commitment to let go
When you feel that those negative emotions are taking up too much space in your heart and mind, to make them go again once and for all, you have to start by consciously deciding that you want to make a change. To learn how to let things go requires a conscious commitment and decision. Make a commitment to yourself and to your decision. From that moment, try to stop reliving past experiences. Even if at first it’s hard, in time you’ll see your progress and how far you’ve come since you made this choice.
Willpower is crucial here. Whenever you feel like going over the details of a situation or frustrating again over the things that hurt you, deviate your thoughts and remember your commitment. Embrace a new healthy way of living and focus on learning from those painful situations.
3. Accept things as they are
It’s pretty common to find yourself reliving painful situations and going over every detail that makes you hurt. Wishing that these moments were different will only prevent you from living a full life. Unfortunately, no one can undo the past, there’s nothing that you can do to change previous outcomes. Accept the facts and stop going back to a moment that will forever be the same.
There’s no use in going back to a story with the same end: pain. This will only make you relive that pain and even hurt yourself even more. Instead of filling your mind with the same story, what you can do is acknowledge the situation and be prepared for the future. Suppose you ever find yourself in a similar situation. You’ll know how to handle things better so that you don’t end up hurting once again.
4. Stop blaming others
Most of the time, the easiest way to deal with hurtful situations is to blame other people. You can keep thinking that somebody did wrong by you and the other person might think the same way about you. It can even feel good to victimize yourself, wash your hands from responsibility, and put it on someone that might or might not be at fault.
In situations like these, it’s reasonable to expect an apology, make them acknowledge what they did, or feel the need for that person to suffer in the same way as you are. The truth is that by blaming someone else for your pain, you’re giving them the power to control your emotions. This only sabotages you from letting go.
Like I mentioned before, you need to accept that things are as they are and that blaming other people with not change what happened. So, stop blaming other people, take your role in the situation, and put it behind.
5. Forgive yourself and others
Part of learning how to let things go is knowing how to forgive yourself and others. When you stop blaming others and taking responsibility for your role in a specific situation, you can move on to forgiveness.
Resenting yourself or other people will only keep you stuck in your painful feelings. The only one who suffers when you’re unwilling to forgive is yourself. Remember that by forgiving others, what you’re actually doing is freeing yourself from negative emotions. Put yourself in the shoes of the other and look at things from their perspective to understand how they might feel. So, don’t just say that you forgive someone, but fully let go of those feelings of blame and anger towards them.
The same thing applies to you. If you blame yourself for your own hurt, accept that you can no longer change the situation. Beating yourself up only keeps you back from letting new things come and moving forward with your life. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion in the same way that you would treat someone on your position. Be gentle, learn how to forgive, forgive, and keep only with you the life lessons that you learn from your mistake.
6. Find support in people who fulfill you
Surround yourself with people who love you and want nothing but good things for you. Remember that these people, either your friends or your family, will always be there for you.
Find moral support in the ones who fulfill you, talk to them, and share how you feel. Get every painful feeling out of your system, knowing that you’re in an environment of trust. Hear them out as they give you an outsider’s point of view that will help you see the situation from a different perspective. Take their opinions positively and with an open mind even if they’re not the same as yours.
If you find yourself living with people who don’t contribute positively to your life, the best thing you can do is take some distance from them. Sometimes creating this space between you and unnecessary people can be a big step for letting go.
7. Focus on the things that give you joy right now
I know that learning how to let things go can be hard, so to make all this process more comfortable, you should focus on the present day and try to make the best out of it. Go on with your day with positive thoughts and activities that feel good for you. Whenever you feel like the pain is taking over, distract yourself with the things that give you joy at the moment.
Putting the past behind by focusing on the here and now will make space for new experiences. This will empty your mind from all the negative emotions and make room for you to build new thoughts for growth. You’ll soon realize that letting go was the best choice you could’ve made as you’ll welcome joy and happiness into your life with open arms.
Let go of a loved one who makes it hard to experience the happiness you want to feel. Let go of a job that brings you suffering. And let go of bad experiences.
8. Don’t be scared to seek professional help
If you’re having a hard time letting go of the things that hurt you, there are alternative options that you can do. For starters, some professionals help people overcome painful experiences. Many people have taboos about going to a therapist. Still, there’s nothing wrong with turning to a professional, and there’s no reason to be ashamed of going. Many people should talk things out with someone they don’t know instead of recurring to a friend or trying to do it by themselves.
There are many benefits that you can get from going to an expert, not only for letting go of a bad experience and guiding you through your overcoming process, but it will give you a lot of positive things that you can apply in your daily life. Who knows, maybe it’ll even help you with something you didn’t even you were struggling with.
You can also try a guided meditation for letting go to help train you to let go of difficult experiences in between visits with a professional.
